Can I say that I have had it with the too-casual parts of our society?! It is one thing to spend the day in comfy clothes at homes, but to go to the grocery store in your tweety bird pajama bottoms? Or to attend a sporting event in jeans and t-shirt, but to opening night at the Opera?
I recently attended my brother-in-law's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony followed with a luncheon and reception in the evening. (Typically here in Utah, only family and close friends are invited to the actual ceremony. This may also depend on if the ceremony is being held inside the LDS temple or elsewhere. The reception is where most are invited to.) I was surprised at how many people came to the reception wearing jeans, cut off shorts, tee shirts and the infamous pink fuzzy slippers!
Perhaps this is mainly happening here (I haven't been to many events in other states), but it's time to step it up and dress appropriate for the event!
So it's time for us to visit our trusty etiquette book and see what exactly we should be wearing to a wedding.
As a wedding guest, first pay attention to the invitation. Sometimes it will tell you if this is semi-formal or informal (and this does NOT mean jeans and t-shirt!)
Most of the weddings I have attended are typically informal or semi-formal. If the invitation does not say or if in doubt use this rule and wear a light colored dress or pastel suit (for her) for a daytime wedding and a black dress for an evening (after 6pm). For him, a dark suit and a conservative tie works for anytime.
Unless the couple have said to go ultra casual, NEVER wear jeans to a wedding!
For specific dress
Daytime informal or semi-formal day:
Her- Short dress (not super short) or suit.
Him- Dress shirt and pants, preferably a sport coat. Semi-formal day- a suit.
Informal Evening or semi-formal evening:
Her-Cocktail dress.
Him-Suit (evening should be a dark suit)
Formal daytime:
Her-Short dress or suit, hat and gloves optional. (I love that! This is not something you typically see here.)
Him- Dark Suit and Tie
Formal Evening or black-tie:
Her-Long or dressy cocktail dress. (Beaded, glammed up and add the wrap.)
Him- A Tux if the invitation says Black-tie or a dark suit.
Ultra-formal or white-tie:
Her-Long gown with all the extras
Him- White tie, vest, shirt
Somethings to remember
* Don't wear white.
* Don't wear black or sequins during the day. I will add here that if the only dress you own is a black dress and you are invited to a daytime event, it is better to wear that than jeans!
*Wear appropriate clothing. This is something else that I see is skimpy dresses. This is a no!
* Do not wear a tux during the day
* It's always better to be over dressed than under dressed.
* Whatever you do, do not wear pink fuzzy slippers!
12 Classy Comments:
Oh girl! I feel your pain. I don't think I've ever seen jeans and a t-shirt at a wedding and definitely not fuzzy pink slippers; but it drives me crazy when people don't dress for the occasion!
I truly believe that some people just don't know any better!
If you think Utah is bad, you should check out Indiana!
I totally agree. I will admit that I'm not the dressiest person, but I almost never wear jeans to a night out. I also can't go to the grocery store-- or to drop Mason off at school -- in anything less than jeans (I even have a casual skirt that I like to wear to mix things up). Pajamas and work out clothes are for home only, and I won't usually set foot out my front door while wearing them. It is very tacky to me to attend, say, a musical, while wearing jeans. But slippers to a wedding? REALLY?
It is bad enough not to dress for special occasions but the four things that I dislike the most are...flipflops, these are fine when you are dressing way down but you don't wear them to church, weddings, the opera or even work...flipflop, flipflop flipflop, very annoying; pink, blue, purple, cookie monster, whatever slippers...just about as bad as flipflops; pj bottoms in public...even worse when the bottoms are ripped and dirty; the showing of underwear...baggie pants or low cut jeans with the thong showing...gross. Some things do not belong in public.
All I can add is AMEN!! I don't know what it is about LDS receptions that somehow give people the impression that they can wear the same thing they do when they stay at home sick. Clinton Kelly (I LOVE him, from What Not to Wear) calls it the "Pajamifacation of America." :)
The ONLY woman to wear whatever she wants to a wedding is the bride! I, for one, had no shoes. I can't stand them, or in them, for long moments of time. Therefore - no shoes for me. Pink fuzzy slippers? Maybe the bride asked her to wear them as a distraction so she could slip out to use the powder room.
Nicol, I wonder if it has anything to do with only attending the reception? Maybe they think its ok to dress down whereas for a church wedding, like most weddings in a church in other places, i think folks tend to dress better and then it rolls over like that to the reception. I noticed when we lived in St. George a few years ago that wedding reception announcements were in the local paper, like here is where it is so everyone can come, and that to me, is just not right..why would you make a public announcement for your reception, then of course you are going to get the jeans and fuzzy slippers...just a thought there..
Some really good thoughts here!
Dogmom, I never really thought about those who are only invited to the reception might consider it a dress down event. Very true! They still need to learn to dress up for the event but it does make sense.
As for the announcement in the paper, perhaps because St. George is a smaller town they do it there. When I got married in a much much much larger city, they didn't do that. But that was also nearly 10 years ago.
That is ridiculous.
I completely agree with you. People just do not care. I went to a beautiful ballet a few weeks ago and women were wearing jeans and t's - really, there is no excuse. Here I thought it was just CA!!
I wasn't aware that people thought it was okay to wear fuzzy pink slippers in public at ANY TIME, much less a wedding! Needless to say, I was in shock reading your post. Good thinking on putting up a "what to wear"
Oh good grief, pink slippers, how grievously absurd! A large majority of society knows what is appropriate, the issue is~ they don't care. My wedding invites stated formal, still people called to say they don't wear suits and ties. Unbelievable isn't it! As a result of outlandish behavior, complete disregard for societal customs, I've decided to defy all the rules of Mrs. Manners by informing those individuals just how tacky they are. If for nothing more than to get a laugh at the shock on their dingy little faces. Jeans at wedding and pink fuzzy slippers! Geez!
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